Don’t Worry, Nerds and Church Boys — She’ll Call You After His Fifth DUI
Let’s pour one out. No, not for me. I’m fine. I’m thriving. I’m currently eating cold ramen out of a pot while wearing a "Han Shot First" shirt, and frankly, I’ve never been happier. No, I feel bad for you. Specifically, you two demographics: The Dungeons & Dragons nerds with the emotional intelligence of a golden retriever, and the Christian dudes saving themselves for marriage while playing acoustic guitar at youth group. Because apparently, in the great Bumble swiperoo, y'all are the backup plan. Let’s set the scene. She spent her 20s chasing "tall, dark, and emotionally unavailable." You know the type. Tattooed knuckles, a vape always in hand, texts back "K" after three days. When that guy inevitably turns out to be a walking red flag who borrows money for "crypto," where does she run? To you, Steve from IT who has a 401(k) and a firmly held belief that The Lord of the Rings extended cuts are the pinnacle of cinema. To you, Brother Ca...