DECEITFUL OVERREACTION IN SURVIVOR SUPPORT GROUP (WHERE DRAMA HEALS FASTER THAN THERAPY)

So, you joined a support group thinking it would be a sacred circle of healing, understanding, and growth?

🤣 Sweet summer child.

What you actually walked into is an emotional Big Brother house where trauma is currency, crocodile tears are the national anthem, and overreaction is a competitive sport. Everyone claims to be “just here to heal,” but somehow, you’re surrounded by people auditioning for the role of Ultimate Survivor in the tragic saga of life. You came with a heart full of hope, but apparently, that’s not enough. You need drama. You need backstory. You need trauma with plot twists and cliffhangers.

You share your experience:
"I struggled with anxiety for years..."
They reply:
"Oh, that’s cute. I was diagnosed with 17 disorders, survived three toxic exes, lost a kidney, and still made it to therapy by crawling through glass. What’s your excuse?"

It’s not about healing anymore it’s about one-upping. The louder you cry, the more real your story is. And if you’re calm and composed? You must be suppressing or, worse, faking. Because in this twisted version of emotional Hunger Games, the soft-spoken are suspicious and the dramatic are divine.

You’d think people in support groups would be, you know, supportive but nah. There’s always that one unofficial queen bee who decides whose pain is valid. If your story doesn’t meet the tragedy threshold, you’re dismissed with a kind smile and a side-eye. Didn’t cry? You’re cold. Cried too much? You’re manipulative. Showed growth? You clearly haven’t suffered enough.

And heaven forbid you ask a logical question or try to bring balance to the convo. Suddenly, you’re “gaslighting,” “invalidating,” or “not being trauma-informed.” Translation? You didn’t clap hard enough at someone’s pity party. That’s a cancelable offense in this space.

Some people don’t come to these groups to heal, they come to perform. Healing? Optional. Sympathy? Mandatory. The moment someone gently suggests accountability or growth, the mood shifts. Side chats erupt. You’re called “toxic” and “unsafe.” You can literally feel the passive-aggressive energy vibrating through the group chat. They don’t want healing they want a fan base.

And the real kicker? These same people will quote Brene Brown, post daily affirmations, and call you “sis” right before emotionally ambushing you with “feedback” that feels like a spiritual slap. It's like being hugged by a cactus in a hoodie.

Look, not all support groups are like this. There are beautiful, honest, brave circles out there. But in the era of trauma clout and Insta-therapy, some people have confused emotional manipulation with emotional intelligence. They’re not trying to process they’re trying to trend. It’s healing, but make it performative.

So if you’re ever sitting in a circle virtual or physical wondering why you feel more drained than supported, it’s not you. You’re just surrounded by people who think pain is a personality, and overreaction is enlightenment.

Keep it real. Keep it grounded. And when the drama starts to outweigh the healing, quietly pack your truth and bounce. Healing is not a group project especially not when half the group thinks being the loudest victim is a flex.


Location: Windhoek, Namibia

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