MEN MARRY WHO THEY WANT, WOMEN MARRY WHO THEY CAN – Or DO THEY?

Ah, the age-old debate: “Men marry who they want, and women marry who they can.” Sounds simple enough, right? But let’s dig a little deeper into this juicy, ever-so-controversial notion and see if it holds any weight, or if it's just another one of those clichés floating around social media to stir the pot.

Men Marry Who They Can, Women Marry Who They Want – Yeah, Sure

It’s often said that men marry who they want, but let’s be real: most men marry who can put up with them. Not who they want, but who will tolerate their bad habits, unfinished projects, and their terrible attempts at fixing things they shouldn’t even be touching in the first place. Oh, and let’s not forget—she’s probably the one who’s breaking down her boundaries just to accommodate his… charming qualities. Because let’s face it, the women they really want? Yeah, she’s the one who has the confidence, the boundaries, and the standards they can’t seem to live up to. That’s why we see men cheating in "happy" marriages. They don’t want her, they just settled because she was available and willing to deal with their nonsense. But hey, that’s totally fine, right? 🙄


The Chase Is Better Than the Catch—Until It’s Not

Let’s talk about the ever-popular idea of the "chase." For some men, the thrill of winning over a woman they desire feels like a personal achievement, like they’ve conquered a mountain or unlocked a special level in a video game. And sure, maybe they get a kick out of it, even if she’s been with, oh, I don’t know, 20 other guys before him? As long as she’s a “baddie,” it doesn’t matter. But here’s the twist: once they’ve won her over, the real challenge is over, and suddenly… yawn. But hey, at least he got the trophy. Good for him. 🙄

But here’s where it gets interesting: women, unlike men, know their biological clock is ticking, and their window for securing Mr. Right is a little more time-sensitive. So while they might want to hold out for someone perfect, sometimes, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. After all, if she’s got to choose between a guy who’s ready to commit and one who’s perpetually “finding himself,” it’s not hard to guess which one gets the rose. But don’t worry, ladies, you’ll be just fine settling for Mr. “Good Enough.” No pressure, right? 😉


Women Marry Who They Can, Men Marry Who They Want—But Not Really

Now, the part where we say that men marry who they want? Eh, let’s just agree they marry who’s willing to settle for them. Sure, a man might propose to the woman he “wants,” but there’s a lot of "can" mixed in there too. I mean, if he really wanted the one he desired, he wouldn’t be emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or just generally clueless about how to treat her. Let’s face it—sometimes men marry the woman they know won’t ever leave, the one who’ll stick around, whether they treat her like a queen or a janitor. So yeah, men marry who they want, but that’s often not as glamorous as it sounds. 


Oh, Cheating, the Uncomfortable Truth

Let’s talk about the cheating epidemic. Men cheat, women cheat. Everyone cheats, but hey, don’t worry, we’re all just following a pattern that’s been drilled into us by generations of problematic behaviors. Men cheat because, well, they can—but not always with the woman they truly want. And women? Oh, they’re guilty too—whether it’s emotional cheating, physical cheating, or just a little bit of side action when things get stale. But why is it always the men who get blamed? Maybe because it’s easier to point the finger and pretend that the women in their lives are the perfect victims? I mean, we all know someone is out there playing games, but let’s just ignore that for now. It’s much easier to blame one gender than admit that maybe… just maybe, the blame lies on both sides. But who’s counting, right? 😏


The Power Struggle - Who Really Holds the Keys?

Okay, let’s settle this once and for all—men don’t always hold the keys to a relationship. Sure, they might be the ones proposing, but let’s not forget women are the ones who can say “no” to the proposal. So who really holds the power here? Women marry who they can, men marry who they can afford. We all know it’s true. But here’s the kicker: if a man wants a woman, and she’s available, he’ll jump at the chance. But if he feels threatened by a woman who’s got options, suddenly he gets cold feet. So don’t be fooled into thinking the “key-holder” is as simple as it seems. 


The Marriage Myth -Are We All Just Settling?

Marriage used to be the prize. It was a ticket to financial security, stability, and societal status. But nowadays? It’s more like a trip to the DMV—long lines, confusion, and a whole lot of unnecessary paperwork. Both men and women approach marriage with a very different mindset than generations before. Men are afraid of losing half their stuff or being dragged through the mud in a divorce. And women, well, they’re still scrambling to find a partner who’s ready for commitment, even if that means they settle for someone who doesn’t tick all the boxes. 

It’s almost like marriage has become the world’s longest-running game of musical chairs, and everyone’s just hoping they get a seat before the music stops. 


The Takeaway (or, Why We’re All So Confused)

Look, let’s be honest: relationships today are a hot mess. Both men and women are playing games, trying to outsmart each other, and secretly hoping the other will just fix everything. But the truth is, no one is going to save you from your own choices. Men marry who they can tolerate and occasionally who they want. Women marry who they think they can build a life with (or just don’t want to be alone). And at the end of the day? We’re all just trying to figure it out while society feeds us these nonsensical narratives that only make things more complicated.

So let’s stop pretending that anyone has it all figured out. Relationships aren’t about winning or losing—they’re about finding someone who isn’t going to make you want to pull your hair out (or cheat, or ignore your feelings). If you’re out here trying to “secure the bag” or just “get the ring,” maybe it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself: is this really what you want? Or are you just settling for what's available? Just a thought.

Location: Windhoek, Namibia

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