The Single Man, The Seven Women, and The Bible That Confuses Us All

There is something deeply honest about the way we talk about the Bible when we think no one is listening. You know the conversations I mean. The ones that happen late at night, after the church service is over, when the ties are loosened and the high heels are kicked off. It is in those moments that the real questions bubble up from the depths of our hearts, the ones we would never dare to raise our hands and ask about in Sunday School.

We laugh about them, sometimes. We crack jokes to hide our confusion. But underneath the humour is a genuine hunger to understand this ancient, sacred, and often puzzling Book we call Scripture.

Today, I want to take you on a journey through some of those raw, unfiltered thoughts. I want to sit with you in the tension between what we think the Bible says and what it actually means. And yes, we are going to have some fun along the way because if you cannot laugh at your own theological confusion, then you are taking yourself far too seriously.

So, pull up a chair. Grab your coffee. And let us dive into the beautiful, chaotic, and deeply challenging world of biblical truth.

The Case of the Reluctant Apostle

Let us start with the elephant in the room. The great Apostle Paul, the man who wrote half the New Testament, the theologian who dissected the mystery of marriage in Ephesians and First Corinthians, never walked down the aisle himself. He never held a bride's hand. He never looked into the eyes of a woman and said, "I do."

And we have to ask ourselves: what was he running from?

I can almost hear the whispers in the modern church. "Paul wrote about marriage, but he didn't marry, so clearly he was avoiding something." We say it with a wink and a nudge, as if we have uncovered some deep, dark secret about the Apostle. Maybe he was afraid of commitment. Maybe he had been hurt before. Maybe, just maybe, he was secretly jealous of all the married couples around him and decided to write a theological treatise to make himself feel better.

But here is the thing about the Bible. It does not flatter us. It does not tell us what we want to hear. It tells us the truth, even when the truth makes us uncomfortable.

You see, Paul was not avoiding marriage because he was scared. He was avoiding marriage because he was obsessed. Obsessed, that is, with something far greater than romance. In his first letter to the Corinthians, he lays it all out on the table with a kind of raw honesty that we modern Christians find almost offensive. He says, "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs, how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife."

Paul was not saying that marriage is evil. Let me be very clear about that. He was not denouncing the sacred covenant that God himself established in the Garden of Eden. What he was saying, and what we so often miss, is that he had a mission. A burning, all consuming, life or death mission to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth. And in his mind, marriage would have been a beautiful distraction. A wonderful, God given, but ultimately time consuming distraction.

Imagine a firefighter standing outside a burning building, and someone asks him why he has not stopped to buy curtains for his living room. That is Paul. He was standing at the edge of a world that was literally burning in sin, and he could not afford to stop and decorate. He could not afford to divide his attention.

So, when we joke that Paul was "avoiding something," we are technically right. He was avoiding anything that would slow him down from running the race set before him.

And here is the challenge that rattles my own bones. Are we doing the same? Are we so focused on the Kingdom that we are willing to forgo "good things" for the sake of "God things"? Or are we using marriage, singleness, or anything else as an excuse to be mediocre?

The Legend of the Seven Women

Now, let us talk about the dream. The fantasy. The golden ticket that so many single men secretly hold in their back pockets.

I have heard it said with a grin and a glint in the eye. "I am waiting for that time when seven women will go to one man. That is why I have not married yet. I am waiting for that moment so I can collect my own seven women, bro."

We laugh when we hear it, because it sounds so audacious. So bold. So perfectly ridiculous. It is the kind of statement that makes you choke on your drink and slap your knee. The man who says this is playing the long game. He is not just thinking about the present; he is thinking about the prophetic future. He has read Isaiah chapter four verse one, and he has decided that he is not going to settle for one woman when the Bible clearly promises a scenario where seven women are begging for one man.

But here is where the descriptive reality of Scripture steps in and gently, or not so gently, shatters our fantasies.

That verse in Isaiah is not a promise. It is a tragedy. It is a picture of devastation, not blessing. In the context of the prophetic book, war and judgment had swept through the land, decimating the male population to the point where women were desperate for any man, any man at all, just to have a name, a protector, a shred of dignity in a broken society. These women were not fighting over a man because he was handsome or charming or wealthy. They were fighting over survival.

When we read that verse and think, "Seven women for me? Sign me up!" we are completely missing the heart of God. We are taking a passage that describes the brokenness of a fallen world and trying to turn it into a bachelor's paradise. It is like looking at a photograph of a famine and saying, "Wow, look at all that empty space. Perfect for a picnic."

The harsh reality is this. If you cannot handle the emotional, spiritual, and relational weight of one woman, what on earth makes you think you can handle seven? If you are not willing to lay down your life for one bride, you certainly are not ready to lay it down for a harem.

So, let us stop hiding behind prophetic loopholes. Let us stop using eschatology as an excuse for immaturity. The call of God is not to collect women like Pokémon cards. It is to find one, just one, woman whom God has prepared for you, and to love her as Christ loved the church. That is the challenge. That is the test. And frankly, most of us are failing it because we are too busy daydreaming about seven.

The Jealousy Theory

And then, of course, there is the other jab. The one we throw at the single prophets and apostles of old.

"One of the writers never married. I think he was jealous."

We say it with a chuckle, but there is a sliver of genuine suspicion hidden in the joke. We cannot help but wonder. Did Jeremiah look at the happy couples around him and feel a pang of bitterness? Did Paul watch his married friends and secretly wish he had what they had? Did they write their teachings on marriage and singleness not from a place of divine revelation, but from a place of sour grapes?

It is a compelling theory, I will give you that. It makes the Bible feel more human. It makes the writers feel more like us, flawed, complicated, and slightly bitter.

But here is the descriptive truth that shatters that theory. Jealousy does not produce wisdom. Jealousy produces petty complaints. Jealousy produces passive aggressive comments. Jealousy does not produce the kind of profound, Spirit inspired, life giving instruction that we find in the letters of Paul and the prophecies of Jeremiah.

If Paul were jealous, his writings would sound bitter. They would sound resentful. They would drip with sarcasm and regret. But instead, what do we find? We find a man who says, "If you can remain single, good for you. But if you burn with passion, get married. It is not a sin." That is not the voice of a jealous man. That is the voice of a man who is giving honest, practical, and deeply loving advice.

Paul was not jealous. He was focused. Jeremiah was not bitter. He was broken for his people.

And here is the uncomfortable question for us. When we look at the lives of single people in the church, do we assume they are broken? Do we assume they are missing out? Do we pity them, rather than honour them? Because the Bible does not pity the single. The Bible honours the single who is wholly devoted to the Lord.

Maybe instead of accusing Paul of jealousy, we should ask ourselves if we are jealous of his freedom. His focus. His unshakable devotion to the one thing that truly matters.

The Difference Between Finding and Marrying

Now we arrive at the most profound observation of the day. It is the kind of statement that makes a room go quiet because everyone knows, deep down, that it is true.

"There is a big difference between finding a woman and marrying a woman. We are busy marrying, but we are not finding a real woman that God almighty blesses us with. Hence the problem."

Let me paint a descriptive picture of what this looks like in the modern world.

We have a generation that is obsessed with weddings but terrified of marriages. We spend months planning the perfect ceremony, the flowers, the cake, the venue, the Instagram worthy photos, but we spend almost no time preparing for the covenant. We marry people we barely know. We marry people we met on dating apps after a few months of surface level conversation. We marry people because they are attractive, or because they make us laugh, or because our biological clock is ticking, or because all our friends are getting married and we do not want to be left behind.

But we do not find them.

The word "find" in the Bible is a treasure hunt. Proverbs chapter eighteen verse twenty two says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." The Hebrew word for "find" implies searching. It implies digging. It implies patience, prayer, and discernment. It is not accidental. It is intentional.

When we marry without finding, we are essentially buying a house without inspecting the foundation. We are signing a contract without reading the fine print. We are jumping into the deep end of the pool without checking if there is any water in it.

Finding a God blessed spouse means looking for character before charisma. It means looking for spiritual maturity before physical attraction. It means looking for a servant's heart before a pretty face. It means fasting and praying and seeking the Lord until He gives you the green light.

But we do not want to wait. We do not want to seek. We want the instant gratification of a ring and a honeymoon, and then we wonder why our marriages are falling apart three years later.

So, I challenge you, and I challenge myself, to stop marrying strangers. Stop treating marriage like a box to check off on your life's to do list. Start finding. Start seeking. Start asking God to show you the person He has prepared for you, and be patient enough to wait for His answer. Because a marriage that is founded on God's provision is a marriage that can weather any storm. But a marriage that is founded on convenience, loneliness, or desperation is a house built on sand.

The Confusion That Makes Us Honest

And finally, we come to the confession that every single one of us has made at some point in our walk with God.

"Sometimes I do not understand the Bible. It says one thing somewhere, and a different thing another side."

There it is. The raw, unvarnished truth. We read the Old Testament, and God is commanding the destruction of entire nations. We read the New Testament, and Jesus is turning the other cheek. We read Leviticus, and we are drowning in rules about what to eat and what to wear. We read Galatians, and Paul tells us we are free from the law.

It feels like a contradiction. It feels like God is changing His mind. It feels like we need a PhD in theology just to make sense of it all.

And so, what do we do? We avoid the hard parts. We stick to the Psalms and the Proverbs. We read the verses that make us feel good, and we conveniently skip over the ones that make us squirm. We build our theology on a handful of favourite passages and pretend the rest of the Bible does not exist.

But here is the descriptive beauty of Scripture. It is not a contradiction; it is a conversation. It is not a flip flop; it is a progression.

Think of it like a sunrise. At first, the world is dark. You cannot see much. You see shadows and shapes, but the picture is incomplete. But as the sun rises, the light increases. The shadows recede. The details become clearer. Eventually, the full light of day reveals everything in its proper place.

That is the Bible. The Old Testament is the dawn, dark, mysterious, and filled with shadows. God is revealing Himself slowly, through law, through sacrifice, through prophets, through the nation of Israel. It is harsh because humanity is harsh. It is rigid because sin is rigid. It is bloody because the cost of sin is bloody.

But then the New Testament arrives, and the sun rises. Jesus Christ steps onto the scene, and He is the full light of God's revelation. He does not contradict the Old Testament; He fulfills it. He shows us what the law was pointing toward all along. He shows us that the sacrifices were a shadow of His own ultimate sacrifice. He shows us that God never changed; our understanding of Him just grew clearer.

So, when we say the Bible is confusing, what we are really saying is that we have not taken the time to study it. We have not read it in context. We have not asked the Holy Spirit to be our teacher. We have not wrestled with the difficult passages the way Jacob wrestled with the angel, refusing to let go until we receive a blessing.

The challenge is not to understand everything immediately. The challenge is to trust the Author, even when we do not fully understand the plot. And to keep reading. Keep asking. Keep seeking. Because Jesus promised, "Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you."

The Final Test

So, here we are. We have laughed at ourselves. We have squirmed under the truth. We have been challenged to move beyond surface level Christianity and dig deep into the rich, complex, and beautiful soil of God's Word.

And now, the question is: what are you going to do about it?

If you are single, stop hiding behind jokes about seven women and start asking God if you are ready to love one. If you are married, stop complaining about your spouse and start loving them like Jesus loves His church. If you are confused about the Bible, stop using that confusion as an excuse for disobedience and start studying it with the help of the Holy Spirit.

The Bible is not a puzzle to be solved; it is a Person to be known. And that Person, Jesus Christ, is not afraid of your questions. He is not threatened by your sarcasm. He is not offended by your confusion.

He is waiting for you to come to Him with all of it, the jokes, the doubts, the fears, the hopes, and let Him transform you from the inside out.

So, let us stop playing games. Let us stop making excuses. Let us stop marrying strangers and start finding soulmates. Let us stop avoiding the hard parts of Scripture and start wrestling with them.

Because iron sharpens iron. And today, I am sharpening you.

Now, go and open your Bible. And if you still think Paul was jealous, read his letters again, but this time, read them with your heart wide open.

Comment below. Which part of this post hit you the hardest? Was it the seven women joke? The difference between finding and marrying? Or the honest confession about Bible confusion? Drop your thoughts below, and let us sharpen each other.

If you made it to the end of this post, congratulations. You have just proven that you are willing to think deeply about your faith. Now share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and maybe, just maybe, we can all grow a little closer to the heart of God together.